sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
