quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
