So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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