he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Green mimosas i think yes
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Randomize
