i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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