'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
