Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
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