Can i not drive my cunt home
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Randomize
