Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
