Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
