hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
