I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Barsexuality is the new black.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize