at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
