Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
