It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i think i have herpe
just one?
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
