My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
