is your mom at the bar?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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