My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
wow bdsm is so cute
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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