fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Randomize
