'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
