i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Randomize
