Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Randomize
