Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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