And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Randomize
