We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
THEY'RE TEXTING LIKE MIDDLE AGED SOCCER MOMS WHAT DO I DO
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize