I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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