he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
