just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
