There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Randomize
