Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
