And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
