it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize