just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
