he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Acid is not a monday night drug
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
