I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
