i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
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