just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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