I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
