I swear she didn't look like that last week.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Randomize
