What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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