The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
She tied me up with her honor cords...
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
Randomize
