So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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