what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
