Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Randomize
