someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
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