i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
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