what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
