Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
You're breaking my sexual little heart
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
