Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
Shame is for Republicans.
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