Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
