Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
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