So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize