real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
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