How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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