Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Randomize
