No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Randomize