One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just had to explain my bite marks to my allergy doctor when she gave me my shots...You're the best <3
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
