I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
