I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
