its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
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